Can the Marriage Be Saved?

Broken heart symbol

Broken heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A woman catches her husband on the phone with another woman. Is the marriage doomed for failure? That depends partly on the husband and his choices. Sometimes a man will wake up and realize that he has made a mistake. Sometimes he won’t.

The grief-stricken woman who has discovered that her husband is sexually involved with another woman may deceive herself into believing that she is in control of the outcome. Maybe if she just prays enough or loses a little weight, then her husband will repent on bended knees. While a woman should pray that her husband returns, she must be willing to accept that she cannot force him to love her.

If this concept of accepting the possibility of divorce startles you, then think back to the plan of salvation. God offers salvation to everyone. He sent his son to die on a cross so that our sins would be forgiven. He freely offers the gift of salvation. However, not everyone is willing to accept God’s offer.

Just as God gives people free will to decide if they will have a relationship with him or not, men and women are given free will in a marriage. Praying for a wayward husband won’t make him repent. Repentance can never be forced. Prayer does not turn the cheating husband into a robot who will only be faithful to his wife.

Instead, prayer opens the door for God’s blessings. When women pray for their husbands and for their marriages, God begins to work. I have seen God send people to wayward spouses and tell them that they are making monumental mistakes that they will regret. I have heard of pastors meeting with their members and telling them to stop the misbehavior. Sadly, some of these men never repented. God was faithful to speak with these cheating men and to encourage them to reconcile their marriages. Some stopped the affairs, but others refused. (Before we get condemn men too harshly, let’s remember that men aren’t the only ones to cheat. Sometimes women have affairs and refuse to give up their lovers too.)

The bottom line is that people have a free will. They choose their behavior, and they can choose to continue an affair. However, women (and men) should seek to reconcile the marriage whenever possible. Often this requires dishing out a helping of tough love and refusing to tolerate misbehavior. A woman can forgive infidelity, but her erring spouse should be held accountable for his actions. He needs to stop his affair and take steps to restore his marriage. Besides taking firm action, a woman should also pray for God to intervene and heal the marriage. God will be faithful to speak, but it is up to the cheating spouse to determine if he will listen to God’s call to repentance or not.

Helpful Resources:

Love Must Be Tough – a book by Dr. Dobson that tells wives how to handle their husband’s misbehavior

Is There Hope for My Marriage – article by Focus on the Family


About MainWriters

Writer and photographer
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3 Responses to Can the Marriage Be Saved?

  1. Noel Williams (prhayz) says:

    God bless your heart MainWriters for this wonderful post. I sincerely hope it will speak to the heart of a cheating husband or wife. The Bible says: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Mark 10:9). Marriage is a special and sacred institution: therefore, anyone who comes between a husband and his wife will be punished severely.

    Thanks for sharing. God bless you.

    • MainWriters says:

      Thank you for your support. I will be changing the format of the blog to focus more on helping people who are going through the pain and heartache of divorce and infidelity. I have the stories of 2-3 people who have gone through a divorce, but it would be nice to post some stories of marriages that God has restored. If you know of someone willing to share their story of restoration, please let me know.
      I agree that people should not violate the marriage bond. It seems that some people do not respect the marriage covenant and pursue those who are married. Sadly, our society has changed and respect for the institution of marriage has dwindled.

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